por Shanti Devi Dasi
In Caitanya-caritamrta, madhya 8.248, it is mentioned how once Mahaprabhu asked Ray Ramananda, duhkha-madhye kona duhkha haya gurutara. Which sorrow is the most intense? Ray Ramananda answered, krsna-bhakta viraha-vina- duhkha na-hi dekhi para. Being separated from a krsna-bhakta, a dear devotee of Krishna, is the most grievous sorrow and unhappiness. If someone becomes separated from a dear devotee of Krishna, he will experience acute pain. No other kind of sorrow can be compared to this.
This is like krsna-viraha-duhkha, the pain of separation from Krishna. This is what Uddhava is feeling after the Krishna sun has set, after Krishna has disappeared. Uddhava has been put into such painful grief, a most sorrowful condition. And similar to this is krsna-bhakta-viraha, separation from a dear devotee of Krishna, who is always with Krishna. If someone is separated from such a dear devotee, that is like being separated from Krishna. There is no other sorrow like that.
Mahaprabhu said this when Haridas Thakur disappeared. Haridas Thakur, who is known as namacarya, was day and night, twenty-four hours, engaged in chanting the holy name. Not sleeping, not eating. That means he was always with Krishna. When he disappeared, Mahaprabhu cried piteously, because such a dear devotee, who was always with Krishna, has left. That is the most acute pain. Mahaprabhu cried and said:
krpa kari krsna more diyachila sanga
svatantra krsnera iccha, kaila sanga-bhanga
harida-sera iccha yabe haila calite
amara s'akati tanre narila rakhite
iccha-matre kaila nijaprana niskramana
pu-rve yena s'uniyachi bhismera marana
Krishna was so merciful to Me that He gave Me the association of such an elevated devotee, paramahamsa, such a dear devotee of Krishna, who was always with Krishna. Getting His association, I felt that I was with Krishna. Now Haridas Thakur has disappeared. And the pain in My heart is most grievous.
The disappearance of such a dear devotee is very inauspicious. Therefore, Mahaprabhu cried. So one must cry because it is the most grievous pain, the most grievous distress one can feel..
...If you want to cry, cry for Krishna. Krishna is our nearest and dearest one. Krishna is our object of love. Krishna is the sole life. Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita- (7.9), jivanam sarva-bhutesu, I am the life of all living entities. And Mahaprabhu was crying, ha krsna prana mora , Krishna is My life. Now My life has gone out. I cannot see Krishna, I cannot find Krishna. He cried piteously when Haridas Thakur disappeared. Krishna is so merciful. He gave Me the association of such a dear devotee who was always with Krishna. But now he disappeared, so I cannot feel the presence of Krishna who is My life. I am without life, I am without life. That is how one should cry.
Krishna is svatantra. His will is supreme. Similarly, whatever a dear devotee of Krishna wants, Krishna grants. And Haridas Thakur wanted that, I'll leave this planet. And Krishna granted that to him. Although Mahaprabhu is Krishna, He said, Haridas Thakur is such a dear devotee of Krishna, I have no power to check him. Don't go, don't go. Stay with us. When such a dear devotee develops the desire that, O Krishna, please take me. I dont want to live here. Krishna grants it, and he leaves this planet. Such was the case with Haridas Thakur. Mahaprabhu cried and picked up the transcendental body of Haridas Thakur. Chanting, hare krsna, while shedding tears, He danced. This is what Mahaprabhu has taught us.
A dear devotee of Krishna, who is an acarya, comes here to give us Krishna. krsna se tomara, krsna dite para, tomara s'akati ache O vaisnava Thakur! Krishna belongs to you because you have bound up Krishna in your heart with the rope of love. Only you can give me Krishna. Acaryas like my revered spiritual master, Srila Prabhupada, come here to give us Krishna, to spread Krishna consciousness throughout the world. He did such good to us.
When such an acarya disappears, such a dear devotee of Krishna, we should cry because this is the most acute pain for us....
Edited by Madhavananda Das
Excerpted from the booklet After the Disappearance of Sri Guru. Published by Gopal Jiu Publications. Bhubaneswar Orissa.